24
Jan

Magical Negro Fight – Key & Peele


– BUT BABE, MOVING OUT? PLEASE, THIS
IS THE WORST POSSIBLE TIME. PLEASE DON’T DO THIS. BABE? [sighs] – GARBAGE.
– HUH? – CAN I TAKE YOUR GARBAGE? – YEAH, SURE. – [chuckles] YOU KNOW, I FIND
THE MORE GARBAGE IN THE CAN THE BETTER IT FEELS
TO DUMP IT ALL OUT. I SUPPOSE THAT’S
WHY WE LET IT GET SO FULL IN THE FIRST PLACE. SO WE CAN START OVER. – HERE TO FIX THE COPIER.
– YEAH, SURE, SURE. HEY, HOW DID YOU– – SOMETIMES THINGS
AIN’T REALLY BROKEN. IT’S THE WAY
WE TREAT ‘EM THAT NEEDS TO BE FIXED. [machine starts] HEH.
[whistles] [chuckles] – WHO THE HELL
ARE YOU GUYS? both: THE IMPORTANT QUESTION
IS WHO ARE YOU, STEVE? [ominous music] – WELL, IF IT
ISN’T MR. STANLEY. – CARL. [ominous music continues] ♪ ♪ – YOU NEED TO FIND
YOUR OWN TROUBLED WHITE BOY. – I WAS HERE FIRST. COPYCAT! – AAGH!
[coughs] [heavy breathing] SWEEP THIS… BITCH! – HUNH! – [chuckles] UH-OH.
– HAH! – WHOA! UNH!
[groans] – [chuckles] – DAMN! CHESTERFIELD! [whistles] both:
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MAGICAL NEGRO! HUNH! [intense opera music] ♪ ♪ – [wild whistling] both: YAARRGH! – GOOD LORD. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? WELL, I GUESS SOMETIMES
THINGS HAVE TO COME APART BEFORE WE CAN PUT
‘EM BACK TOGETHER AGAIN. – OH, YOU’RE
A MAGICAL NEGRO TOO. – WHO YOU CALLIN’ “NEGRO,”
BITCH?

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