Three Steps to Transform Your Life | Lena Kay | TEDxNishtiman

Translator: Nawwar Alshroof
Reviewer: Riaki Poništ What would it take to transform your life, to transform Kurdistan, to transform the world? I’m Lena Kay. And I empower people to transform
their lives and maximize their potential so that then they can achieve
what they want. Today, I’m going to share with you
three steps that I use to transform any area of my life. It’s what my friends,
my family, and clients use to transform their health, relationships,
business, finance, and anything else. I’ll also share with you
why it is relevant in Kurdistan today. But first I want to tell you a story
about a little Kurdish boy, who was a refugee. Bonen Arbil – the doctors told his mother
that he had died in her belly and that he would be stillborn. His mother gave birth, the doctor announced him dead
and walked out the room. A nurse came in, slapped him a few times
and he started to cry. A few years later, when Saddam was bombing the Kurds
with chemical warfare, the little boy’s family
decided to flee to Europe. They went horse-back through mountains,
they were smuggled into Iran, and eventually, ended up
in London as refugees of war. He went to school, college, university. And by that time his family
were working class and weren’t the wealthiest, so he got a part-time job
while he was in university, because London is one of the most
expensive cities in the world to live in. The company he was working for
saw leadership skills in him. They offered him money
to leave university. He did. He managed ten gambling
establishments in London. And he’d done that for several years
before he moved on to business banking. And again, they saw leadership skills, and they promoted him to be team leader. Everything looked good on the outside. But on the inside,
there was a storm brewing. Have you ever put a smile on your face when on the inside there is a storm? Turbulent relationships with his family
led him to to be thrown out. And he found himself depressed, with a brain tumor,
suffering from anxiety, living in a homeless hostel,
and highly medicated by doctors. In his mid-20s, he had a breakdown. He went from corporate leadership
to living on benefits. He hated his life, he hated
his situation, he was in pain, and he wanted change so badly. But things seemed to go from bad to worse. Every time he took a step forward, something happened
that took him two steps back. He was spiraling
into darkness and addiction. Then one day, he discovered
a video on YouTube that changed his life forever. It was talking about the power of the mind and how you are not a victim
of your circumstances; you are a creator of them. He thought, “How could this be?
You mean I created my misery? I created my pain?
I created my brain tumor?” He thought, “Surely someone
would’ve told me this information.” So he’d done some research
into science, religion, spirituality. What he found difficult to find
was any evidence against this. You see, physics says that reality
is created from your perception. Neuroscience says your brain
controls your biochemistry. Religion says you are created
in the image and likeness of the creator. And spirituality says that life doesn’t happen to you,
it happens from you. He liked the idea. He thought, “If I created my own hardship,
maybe I can uncreate them.” Against the advice of the doctors,
he decided to come off the medication, and he started to self-heal. What does this mean? It means he was able to create
better results in his biochemistry, using his mind than the medicated drugs. He got better. He repaired the relationships
with his family, he replaced his television with books, and he improved
his relationship with money. See, no one told him
the most powerful knowledge that helped him change his life. Not the education system, not religion, not the government, and nobody around him. And now he discovered this powerful truth, he wanted to share it
with everyone he could. He trained, he coached, and he helped
other people to develop who they are so they can achieve what they want. You see that little boy
was statistically destined to lose, statistically as a refugee, statistically as someone who suffered from depression
and countless other illnesses, statistically as someone
on the benefits system. But he decided to change his life, and the only way
he found out he could do that was by changing the way he thinks. Now, everything in that story is true,
except for one factor. The little boy was actually a little girl, and that little girl was me. (Applause) In the process of my own healing, my father was diagnosed
with Alzheimer’s disease. In the last five years, he’s forgotten how to read, how to write,
how to clothe himself, feed himself, and he’s forgotten who his wife is
as well as his three children. I remember a friend told me years ago: “People don’t really value their minds until they see someone
who has lost theirs.” Let me ask you.
Do you value your mind? Because it is the most
powerful asset that you have. In my process of healing
and transformation, I used the following three steps. And they worked for me;
they worked for my clients. This is where you can get
some substance from this talk, and you can relate it to your life. I could talk to you for the whole
weekend just on step one, but we don’t have that luxury of time. So, Step One is “focus and attention equals creation.” Most people, they lose
right here on Step One. Step One is so important for you to focus on what you want, what’s your dream,
what’s your vision, what’s your goal, and stick to it. This is not the time to get practical. People, they think, “Oh, I’d love to have this, I’d love
to do that, but how am I going to do it?” Or they talk to someone
and someone talks them out of it. Don’t be practical in Step One. This is just about focusing,
clarifying what you want. Make sure you write it down.
Get very specific on what you want. Because the brain
will give you what you want. You see, most people,
they focus on their problems, and they get more problems. Why? Because what you focus on,
you’re directing your energy. So, focus on what you want. The second step. (Chuckles) Ok, your ideas are very very powerful.
Please do cherish them. Because ideas change the world. Everything on this planet besides nature was once an idea in the mind
of a human being. OK! Step Two is your “self-mastery.” What do you believe
about the things that you want? Because you see life
doesn’t give you what you want, it gives you what you believe. If what you want is here
and your belief is here, life will give you this every single time. So self-mastery is but knowing
how do you feel, what do you believe, because you are designed – OK. Your clicker guys. OK. You’re designed to win
but you’re programmed to lose. It is so important what you believe in, and your self-mastery,
only you can do that. I worked with a woman.
She had lot of pain in her knee. and doctors told us she has arthritis
and that it will progressively get worse. I said, “Don’t worry about
what the doctors believe. What matters is what you believe.” I said, “Focus on the good leg. Give praise for the parts
of your body that are working. Maybe exercise a little bit.” We worked on her belief system. In three weeks, she told me
her pain was hardly there anymore. In six months, what was amazing was that her blood test showed
her arthritis had reversed, and the doctors said her knee
looks like she had an operation. What you believe is very very important. Self-mastery, this is your inner work. Only you can do this work,
but it is worth it. So, when you go home today, think about what you want,
where are your beliefs, and your job is to line them up
because you always get what you believe. Step Three is “take action.” But wait. Imagine you go forward
five years from now, and everything in your life
is 10 out of 10. Your health, your business,
your relationships. You are more happy, healthy, successful and loved than you ever have been. Would you think, feel and, act
differently than you do today. The answer’s usually “Yes.” What I suggest is you act
from that level of consciousness. Don’t wait for five years
to feel like that. You can feel like that today,
and then you take action. Then you take the next step,
just one step towards what you want. I worked with a client.
He wanted to get promoted at work. He wanted to become a manager. I said, “OK, act like it;
act like a manager. Because leadership is an attitude.” I said, “Work hard. Have a good attitude.
Have a positive mental attitude. Stay behind later. Arrive on time.” It took several weeks. His company approached him. They wanted to train him
to become a manager. And now he has a better
position and higher wages. You can achieve whatever you want. We can create whatever changes
you want to develop in this country if we focus, we align our emotions and our beliefs,
and then we take action. So Step Three is about imagining
you’ve already got it. And then from that new conscious
awareness, then you take action. Why am I telling you all this anyway? I’ll share with you some things that helped me understand this
a little bit better. And then I’ll tell how this is relevant
in Kurdistan today. Negative thoughts and emotions,
they weaken your immune system. So judgement, complaining,
any negative emotion, it weakens your body. Scientists say, “We have
50,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day. But 90% of them are the same ones
as you had yesterday.” The problem of that is, that the same thoughts
create the same emotion that create the same action,
which gets the same results. And then you get the same thoughts,
and so the cycle of creation continues. You see, most people wait
for outside circumstances to change for them to change. But life is totally opposite. You must change on the inside
in order to see change on the outside. Let me ask you something. Who here has a mobile phone, laptop,
computer device, something? Please put your hands up. OK, great, thank you. But if I told you, “I sent you an email with a virus that would destroy all the data
on your phone or your device.” Hands up – how many people
would open that email? OK, so no one would open an email
and download a virus into their device. But you download viruses into the most
important computers in the world. Your brain. Negative thoughts are like a virus. It is very important
that we come aware of our thoughts because the more negative
programs that we watch, they train you. They train your thoughts,
they train your beliefs, they train your expectation
that this is life. It’s called “television
programming for a reason.” Yes, it can be used for good sometimes. However, what would happen if you just switched
your television off for 30 days? What would you do? I don’t know. Maybe you read books.
Maybe you wrote your thoughts down. Maybe you had more intimate conversations. Maybe you found
some hobbies and interests. You see, everyone wants society to change. Everyone wants social transformation. But you can not have social transformation
without individual transformation. A few years ago, I saw Kurdistan
go from here to here, and then drop again so drastically. Because as wonderful as it was to see
the malls and developments, there was one vital factor
left out of the whole equation. The minds and development of the people. When it comes to negative programming, it is very important
that we become aware of it. Because only then can we change it. Bare with me, OK? Look, the history of Kurdistan
is as rich as the land. You know from waterfalls and mountains
to oil and flowers and pomegranates and natural springs,
and the list can go on. We know where Kurdistan has been. We know where Kurdistan is today. But where are we headed? And who gets to decide? What would happen
if there was a transformation in the hearts of every man and woman? A revolution of self-transformation
and self-development, because self-education
is the most important type of education. What would happen? Because – Is it right that more people know
more about celebrities and singers than they know about their own
body and their brain? What about that there is more make-up
stores in the world than bookstores? You know, I read a shocking
statistic that said, “90 percent of women are not happy
with the way they look.” So then, what is the benefit
of a society of young girls’ generation that are being trained
and programmed to believe, “It’s OK to be a Ferrari with no engine?” When will we stop ignoring the fact that young girls are committing
suicide in Kurdistan? What about our women,
our mothers, our grandparents, who are sitting for hours and hours
watching television programs that play with their emotions while making
their bodies ill from lack of mobility? What is their option? It’s shameful for them
to do anything else. You see, we know where Kurdistan has been. But who gets to decide the future? Something has to change
for things to change. The world is in two extremes. And we will get there.
Thank you for your patience. That’s why it’s good
to go first, thank you. (Applause) It’s not working, guys. (Applause). We only have two slides to go. We can do this team, come on. Yes, that’s the one. That’s the one, yes. So I’ll just tell you
when to go next, yeah? Look, the world is in two extremes. Extreme poverty, extreme
destruction, extreme disease. And then extreme abundance,
opportunity, and interconnectedness like we’ve never seen before
in the history of this planet, thanks to technology. What if the future was a reflection of you? Because, you see, I believe
we can have profit. But we can stil l look after the people
and look after our beautiful planet. Next slide, please. What if the future
was a reflection of you, of your thoughts, your emotions, your actions, your consciousness? Because it is. The future won’t be what you want. It will be who you are
and what you believe. Go for what is in your heart
when you go home today. Apply these three steps to any area
of your life you want to transform. Focus on what you want. Do the inner work that only you can do. Beause self-mastery, once you master
yourself, you can master anything. Focus on what you want. Go for what is in your heart. The next slide, please. Go for what is in your heart. Believe in yourself. Believe in what you want. And never stop taking action towards it. Together, we are strong. In segregation, when we’re divided,
we’re easy to conquer. The future is you. And one awaken lion is more powerful
than a thousand sleeping sheep. But the lion does not eat
by imagining the sheep. He takes action. And that action comes from within. Focus on what you want,
align your emotions, take action. It will be yours. You will feast on your success. Thank you. (Applause)

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